Yesterday as I was surfing TV channels I came across the last 10 minutes of a show called ‘Dirty Dancing Something Something’. It was almost over and the winners have already been declared. Then one of the judges, apparently flattering the winning couple, declared: “they’ll fit with the dancers they’re going to be competing against”
Did I misunderstand this? Or did she indirectly admit that to win the competition, the competitors had to fit the standard of looks dictated by the dance industry over them and their competitors.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so surprised to hear these words come out on a dance TV show from an LA dance studio manager.
Unfortunately this mentality seems to not only affect shallow TV shows but also some of the smartest and most successful people.
She Made Us Look Stupid
When Susan Boyle first set foot on stage, everyone in the audience rolled their eyes. What was worse is that even the judges, who are considered to be smart, successful and even idealised by many also rolled their eyes!
Many days later and during an interview with Oprah, Simon confessed that he was quick to judge Susan Boyle based on how she looked But then after he heard her sing, Simon admitted: “It was a wake-up call, and I was happy she made us look stupid, because we deserved it.”
Simon is smart enough to have answered the wakeup call and realised his mistake. This, I’m afraid isn’t true to the masses of people that are hypnotized by what they see on TV, read in magazines or online.
It seems that we’ve gotten to a point where we have standards set to what beautiful is and we’ll accept or reject people straight away based on these standards that we didn’t set but we did accept. It’s a scary thought, but there is evidence of this everywhere!
As I grew up, we had a kid in school with very hairy arms. Students made fun of him all the time and outcast him. It makes me sad to this day when I think about it. Later in life, I met one of my best friends. He’s got a clearly visible but noncontagious skin condition. And you cannot imagine the looks he gets from people all the time as he walks down the street.
I Like Your…
I remember this one time when I was on a night out with the guys. I somehow ended up being cornered by four young ladies insisting on me telling them what I liked about them. I had met them for less than half an hour so there wasn’t really anything significant for me to like about them yet. Trying to get out of it, I told the first I liked her eyes, the second her smile, the third her hair. They were very pleased to hear the compliments except the fourth one.. when I told her I liked her personality! And I really did.
She pouted (I thought women stopped doing that after the age of 5). It seemed she wanted me to have admired something shallow and external instead, like I did with her three other friends who I couldn’t find anything else about them to admire apart from their looks.
Just now I decided to research what defines beautiful women when I came across the picture you see to the side. It’s from an online modelling agency. You can now choose what size, height, cup size, waist size, eye colour etc. you want a model to be! (Too bad my search returned zero results).
So if you’re a woman, according to British Association of Model Agents (AMA) you’re only model-beautiful if you’re: “at least 5ft 8ins tall (1.73cms) and more or less 34-24-34(86cm-61cm-86cm)”
Am I the only one who finds this incredibly ridiculous?
How do you define beauty? Let us know in the comment box below.
I’ll be the first to admit that I was a shallow teenager when it came to the opposite sex. Beauty for me was narrowly defined. And when people told me: “beauty isn’t everything”, I thought they’re stupid. Well… unlike Simon, I’m afraid it took more than one woman to make me feel stupid!
I’ve fell for very few women in my life and all, with the exception of one, were not what I expected I’d fall for. They were either darker, taller (much, much taller actually), older or whatever. I’ve also met a lot of women that were gorgeous according to every standard. But I just couldn’t wait to finish that cup of coffee and run away.
That taught me a very valuable lesson. It taught me to always have a friend call you in the middle of date in case you needed an escape plan.
But more importantly, it taught me that what media has planted into societies’ minds on beauty is simply not true. And that yes, beauty as defined by media or yourself is really NOT everything.
So next time you meet someone that you feel you’re about to judge based in their looks, pause. Stop for a second, think, and give YOURSELF a chance. Not them, yourself. Because it’s only when you do that, you’ll allow yourself to grow and see beyond what others have programmed you to see. And it’s only then when you’ll feel beyond what you have programmed yourself to feel. And most importantly, it’s only when you stop judging others by their dimensions, that others will stop judging you by yours
Until next time,
Copyright (c) 2010 www.TarekCoaching.com – Life coach London, life coaching London, RESULTS Coach, Performance Consultant, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), NLP training