Life Coach London Burj Khalifa

A couple nights ago I was going through Dubai at the time of the opening ceremony for Burj Khalifa. Two thoughts crossed my mind. One, these fireworks are spectacular! Two, what’s the point?! Not just from the fireworks, but from the whole thing.

Now don’t get me wrong. The essence of life coaching and NLP is to help you overachievelife coach london - burj khalifa and surpass your expectations and the expectation of those around you. I’ve suffered for a long time from what others expect of me and what I’m supposed to do or should be doing. And this skyscraper has certainly overachieved in every way possible breaking so many different world records. But here’s the thing. I believe one of the reasons that an estimated 20 billion dollars were spent on this skyscraper is because Dubai is expected to be, supposed to be and should be a certain way.

Think of it. What’s the first image that comes to mind when you think Dubai? I think, luxurious buildings, expensive restaurants, flashy cars, everything is bigger, better and newer. And frankly, that’s exactly what you experience when you get to Dubai, plus the amazing beaches. Now that’s fantastic. No one loves a modern kitchen more than I do. So I can order a pizza and eat it there. But I think Dubai got to a stage where it’s going to extreme extents to fulfill what’s expected from it.

Let’s leave the skyscraper and get down to an example closer to us. Something about us. How we could get trapped in the same mindset of delivering what’s expected from us even when we don’t want to do it.

Here’s a common example that I come across time and time again. It’s about the stress women go through to get married before a certain age. Depending on the culture and the ethnic background, women should be and expected to be married before a certain age or they’ll be looked down on and they’ll get pep talks on every family gathering.

A personal example from my own life is my parents, almost weekly, asking me to do a PhD and get back into the corporate world (Yes they ask me to get married too, just in case you’re wondering). They think I should be employed. That it’s too early for me to go independent. Well, I don’t see myself doing a PhD anytime soon. And I’m certainly not going back to the rat race.

Are you also doing something because you think you should or you must do it? Perhaps your answer to this question is: I don’t know! That’s ok. Many go through life not knowing their destination and not paying attention to what’s happening. But if you want to be an achiever, if you want to excel, it’s about time you know. Here’s a simple trick that I learnt when I first did my NLP and life coaching training in London.

Every time you say to yourself or someone says to you: “you should” or “you must” or anything to that extent ask yourself or the person addressing you two questions:

1-      Says who?

2-      What would happen if I did/didn’t do it?

So for example:

Statement: Dubai should have the tallest building in the world.

Question: Says who?

Answer: erm… the world… I guess

Question: What would happen if Dubai didn’t?

Answer: 20 billion dollars could go to improve the country’s collapsing economy, could help in establishing piece in the Middle East, could be invested in agricultural plans to feed starving countries, could save the whales etc.

But seriously, the fireworks were awesome. It’s like burning money only 828 meters above ground.

What would you do with 20 billion dollars? Let us know by leaving a comment.

Until next time,

Tarek N

Copyright (c) 2009 www.TarekCoaching.com – Life coach London, London life coach, RESULTS Coach, Performance Consultant, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)

Facebook comments:

  1. CG
    CG01-06-2010

    So true – Says who!? Ufortunately I don’t have the time right now to look up who decided Dubai would need this tower and how exactly it’s paid for (sounds like an easy task but I quickly checked and it isn’t done in a minute…) and I certainly wouldn’t find out about their physique anyway, but I bet the suspected masterminds have very small penises. However, if it makes them happy.
    If I’d been given 20 Billion I’d buy ryanair and shut them down. Why? They don’t serve but produce demand and I’m often not strong enough to resist, although conflicting with my green consciousness. I’d keep a few grands and travel by train from now on. It’s so much more enjoyable anyway.
    Regarding the fireworks, well I guess Berlins wasn’t as stunning as your’s but certainly impressive. I spend the night in a blue-collor neighbourhood with high unemployment and still it went on and on for hours. Seems like the worse the economy the more pompous and over the top people like to celebrate. Question is, did they celebrate having somehow survived another year or haveing a new one ahead. Well, I spend my money on a bottle of wine and another flight instead – so I’m not better and shut up now.

    • Tarek
      Tarek01-07-2010

      LoL! CG you crack me up 🙂 You know I’ve been talking to Emiratis about this today and you’d be surprised how defensive they are about it. I swear for a second I felt that the entire world economy was dependant on that building.

  2. Nat
    Nat01-06-2010

    I’d be in Prague, oh I am. Does that mean I’m doing it right?

    • Tarek
      Tarek01-07-2010

      $20 billion in Prague! I’ve never been there but it must be a very expensive country. Hope you’re having a good time 🙂

  3. CG
    CG01-09-2010

    Haha, how interesting: the world biggest hubris bubble (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/dubais-burj-khalifa-built-out-of-opulence-named-for-its-saviour/article1418781/) and a 300 year prognosed lifespan based on 35 yr old knowledge. We should indeed conclude from that. However, I wouldn’t mind seeing it myself but not until they build an express train from london 😉

    • Tarek
      Tarek01-13-2010

      Hahaha… hmmm OK I’ll see if I can speak to a couple sheikhs and convince them about the London-Dubai express 😉

  4. Mais
    Mais02-03-2010

    Hi Tarek,

    I’ve been reading your blog for a while and i like your topics and discussions very much…
    this one in particular touched a very sensitive nerve! I went through some changes during the last couple of months which made me rethink about lots of issues and stuff specially those related to my career, I’ve been doing this with the help of a very dear friend who is also a personal coach, and this made reach an important (or what my friends like to call a brave) decision of leaving a job that I don’t like and can’t see myself in, a job that which is very emotionally and mentally depriving, even before finding the alternative. I’ve also decided to never do anything out of must or should. I will pursuit what I’m passionate about and turn that into a career, I’m even considering becoming a freelancer now, and working according to my own terms and rules 🙂

    thanks for inspiring input!

    • Tarek
      Tarek02-04-2010

      Hi Mais,

      I’m glad you like my blog and that you find it inspiring!

      Sometimes, we have to do things out of must or should. But these are very, very few. And they are more “shouldn’ts” than “shoulds”. So what it’s not about refusing to do one thing just because you feel you should. What I was trying to communicate is that many go through life doing things because they are expected to, and not because they want to. And the sad truth is that they most of the times don’t even know it.

      I’m really pleased that you came to this resolution with the help of your friend/coach. Pursuing your passion is definitely worth it. I think my first blog post was about finding my passion 🙂 Let us know how things progress.

  5. Mais
    Mais02-06-2010

    and that’s exactly what i meant, there is and will always be things to do out of a must or should (like paying the bills!) 🙂
    but other things with major impact on our lives, this is a different story

  6. Dragon
    Dragon11-28-2011

    You know what, I’m very much inclined to agree.

  7. Keydren
    Keydren11-28-2011

    Stellar work there everyone. I’ll keep on reading.

Leave a Reply

*