A couple nights ago I was going through Dubai at the time of the opening ceremony for Burj Khalifa. Two thoughts crossed my mind. One, these fireworks are spectacular! Two, what’s the point?! Not just from the fireworks, but from the whole thing.
Now don’t get me wrong. The essence of life coaching and NLP is to help you overachieve and surpass your expectations and the expectation of those around you. I’ve suffered for a long time from what others expect of me and what I’m supposed to do or should be doing. And this skyscraper has certainly overachieved in every way possible breaking so many different world records. But here’s the thing. I believe one of the reasons that an estimated 20 billion dollars were spent on this skyscraper is because Dubai is expected to be, supposed to be and should be a certain way.
Think of it. What’s the first image that comes to mind when you think Dubai? I think, luxurious buildings, expensive restaurants, flashy cars, everything is bigger, better and newer. And frankly, that’s exactly what you experience when you get to Dubai, plus the amazing beaches. Now that’s fantastic. No one loves a modern kitchen more than I do. So I can order a pizza and eat it there. But I think Dubai got to a stage where it’s going to extreme extents to fulfill what’s expected from it.
Let’s leave the skyscraper and get down to an example closer to us. Something about us. How we could get trapped in the same mindset of delivering what’s expected from us even when we don’t want to do it.
Here’s a common example that I come across time and time again. It’s about the stress women go through to get married before a certain age. Depending on the culture and the ethnic background, women should be and expected to be married before a certain age or they’ll be looked down on and they’ll get pep talks on every family gathering.
A personal example from my own life is my parents, almost weekly, asking me to do a PhD and get back into the corporate world (Yes they ask me to get married too, just in case you’re wondering). They think I should be employed. That it’s too early for me to go independent. Well, I don’t see myself doing a PhD anytime soon. And I’m certainly not going back to the rat race.
Are you also doing something because you think you should or you must do it? Perhaps your answer to this question is: I don’t know! That’s ok. Many go through life not knowing their destination and not paying attention to what’s happening. But if you want to be an achiever, if you want to excel, it’s about time you know. Here’s a simple trick that I learnt when I first did my NLP and life coaching training in London.
Every time you say to yourself or someone says to you: “you should” or “you must” or anything to that extent ask yourself or the person addressing you two questions:
1- Says who?
2- What would happen if I did/didn’t do it?
So for example:
Statement: Dubai should have the tallest building in the world.
Question: Says who?
Answer: erm… the world… I guess
Question: What would happen if Dubai didn’t?
Answer: 20 billion dollars could go to improve the country’s collapsing economy, could help in establishing piece in the Middle East, could be invested in agricultural plans to feed starving countries, could save the whales etc.
But seriously, the fireworks were awesome. It’s like burning money only 828 meters above ground.
What would you do with 20 billion dollars? Let us know by leaving a comment.
Until next time,
Copyright (c) 2009 www.TarekCoaching.com – Life coach London, London life coach, RESULTS Coach, Performance Consultant, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)