If you’ve read the previous post here and you answer is “YES, I truly want to look unique” then this post is for you.
Almost a year back I was taking part in an NLP training and life coaching course. One of the ladies (hopefully) complimenting me said: “Tarek, you really stand out”. What’s unusual about her comment is that it was said in a time where I couldn’t possibly have looked any more normal. I was wearing a jeans and a plain white tshirt. That’s as normal looking as any guy could be!
So why did I stand out and how can you do it? I’ll tell you.
To be unique and stand out, there are two phases. The first one is looking unique. The second one, as the title says, looking TRULY unique.
Can You Handle TRULY Standing Out?
Anyone could look unique. It’s really easy. Go get yourself a fuchsia cowboy hat and a fuchsia feather boa and wear them both together. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman. It’s a sure way to stand out and look unique. But what would you accomplish with that apart from looking really silly?
Believe it or not, there is a great advantage to doing this.
On my path to discovering my unique self and trying to stand out I wore a lot of things. Some I’m embarrassed to mention here. I remember going out once on Halloween night when a lady on the train told me she liked my costume. I said: “thanks, but these are my normal clothes”. And they really were! (In case you’re wondering, yes, my costume did include a cowboy hat)
So what’s the advantage of this? Standing out immediately puts you under the spot light. You get noticed. Some will like your uniqueness, and some will not. You will get compliments and you will get criticism. More often than not, it will be criticism. But why would you put yourself through that?! Because it will happen anyway, whether you’re wearing fuchsia accessories or a pair of jeans and a plain white tshirt.
Why People Hide
The reason women hide behind make up and fancy dresses, or men hide behind bank accounts and flashy cars is because they don’t think they’re good enough. They put an act and hide behind a persona because they think others will not like who they truly are. And this is what they fear the most. They fear that people might not like their true selves. So if they hide behind a car or a dress or an act and someone doesn’t like them they can always blame the act and keep their true selves protected and hidden.
Here’s an example. A young lady puts on an outrageous dress that’s very attention grabbing. She goes on a night out with her friends and soon enough she spots a handsome man. She smiles at the man who smiles back and keeps walking. In her mind she’s thinking: “why didn’t he come and say hi? It must be my dress. He probably didn’t like my dress” That in her mind isn’t half as bad as the second scenario.
Same guy, same lady minus the outrageous dress. This time without the dress she’s thinking: “why didn’t he come and say hi? It must be me. He didn’t like me!”
Without the dress, her true self is in the sport light and if her true self gets rejected, there is no excuse to giver herself to cushion the blow.
I Dare You
It’s the real world. You need to realize this now: you can’t possibly please everyone. People will still criticize you. Whether you’re wearing a fuchsia cowboy hat and a fuchsia feather boa or whether you’re just being you. So you have one of two options. Either hide behind whatever persona you create or just be your true self starting this moment.
And because it’s the real world know that not everyone will like your true self. Your ego and true self will still get bruised by people’s rejections. But the difference is that everyone will respect you for having the courage to show your true self. Those very few that, similar to you, dare to show their true selves, will respect you. And the rest who don’t have the courage, will respect and envy you.
It’s then, when you are truly unique and you stand out, even when you’re wearing a pair of jeans, and a plain white tshirt. Because as cliché as it might sound, everyone is really unique.
Until next time,
Copyright (c) 2010 www.TarekCoaching.com – Life coach London, life coaching London, RESULTS Coach, Performance Consultant, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), NLP training