What I’m about to share with you is very personal. Normally I would only share these experiences with my closest friends. But in the hope that by sharing my story with you, you will experience what I did, I am going to make an exception this one time. It’s about emotions.
What is an emotion?
An emotion is a mental and physiological state associated with a wide variety of feelings, thoughts and behaviors . What this means is that how you perceive things, your reality is created; this affects your emotional state which changes your physiology resulting in you behaving in a particular way. Read the last sentence again because it’s extremely important. Now read it one more time.
In the next blog entry I will share with you a personal experience on to the topic of perception and projection. But for now, just keep in mind that whatever meaning you assign to a thing/person/event, puts you in a certain emotional state thus creating a specific behaviour and consequently resulting in a certain outcome. From this long chain, I’ll address the link of emotions; in particular negative emotions and how getting rid of them could result in you reaping a magnificent reward. Much like what happened to me.
Some believe the only core emotion that exists for human beings is love. Others believe its love and fear. Both sides believe that all other emotions, positive or negative, are a derivative from love and/or fear. Regardless, we know there are a number of negative emotions that could affect any of us during the course of our life. Some of these negative emotions are: anger, sadness, fear, hurt, guilt, disappointment, shame, overwhelm, stress, frustration, confusion, insufficiency, inadequacy, repression, depression, tension…
Now say someone you know has five of these emotions present. They would be layered on top of each other just like an onion. So for example, it would be guilt at the core, overwhelm on top of it, covered with confusion, surrounded by frustration and on the surface layer there is anger. As Master NLP Practitioners, we always work with abolishing one’s anger first. Otherwise if we get rid of all other negative emotions before anger, we’ll end up with a very angry individual! The process of obliterating negative emotions is called… you guessed it, the emotional obliterator.
Not long ago I was being coached through the emotional obliterator as I wanted to get rid of a couple of negative emotions. One of them was guilt. I will guide you through the process exactly as I did it. Some steps require the presence of a qualified NLP practitioner for your ultimate benefit but I will share it with you nonetheless as it is still very revealing if you try it on your own. You’ll notice that the following example is written in the present tense and that’s because; for your maximum benefit, I’m re-writing it the same way I did when I was going through the process. Some of it might not make perfect sense because it was a brain dump and I wasn’t too worried about my English or grammar. Here’s the process. I highly recommend that you do it.
1- What’s the negative emotion?
Guilt. I’m guilty about not achieving and doing more. I’m guilty about not helping more and not being there for my family and friends.
2- What is it costing you?
This is resulting in me having the wrong type of motivation. I’m acting in avoidance. If I do something it’s because I think I should be doing it instead of embracing what I want to do and playing full out. Sometimes when I do something it’s driven by guilt. I do it because if I don’t, I would feel guilty. And this results in regret.
3- Why are you committed to releasing it?
I want to release guilt because I want to do the things I want because I want and because I enjoy doing them. When I’m there for my family and friends it’s because I want to be there, not because I feel guilty if I’m not.
4- The Emotional Obliterator
This is where your coach would lead you through a specific process. It aims to get you to tap into your unconscious which represses memories (including unresolved negative emotions) and then present these memories to your conscious mind for resolution. Once these memories are conscious, your coach will help you get the learnings that once you get can change your future in a powerful and positive way.
5- My new learnings are: I’m fully independent and my actions are out of love.
I certainly hope you appreciate me sharing this private incident with you because what happened after it is what I sincerely hope everyone would be able to experience…
Reaping the Rewards
Only a few days after that, I was on the phone talking to a friend of mine, telling him how I decided on a career change and how I’m now fully committed to it. I also shared with him that I haven’t told my parents yet as I thought they wouldn’t be very happy to hear this, especially after my father spent a fortune on my education. Later that night I was on the phone with my dad when I uncontrollably blurted out: dad, I’m going through a career change. And I explained to him how passionate I am about coaching children and their parents on how to create the leaders of the future. To my surprise my dad says: it’s a wish come true. I’ve always hoped that one of you kids would specialise in this.
I was dancing out of joy. And it wasn’t very pretty
Up until a few days before the Emotional Obliterator, making my dad happy had a very heavy weight on my decision making process. He’s always been the best dad in the world and I wanted to live up to his expectations and pay him back. But like I said, it was all driven by guilt. And the day I released this guilt and replaced it with independence and love driven action, was the day that I got what I’ve always wanted. I am now doing something I’m absolutely passionate about, my dad is very pleased with it, and the best part is that we’ll be working together! He’ll be contributing to my articles that are coming up in the future. And those of you who know my dad, will know what incredible value this will add to the articles.
Until next time,
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