I did it! At least I think I did 🙂 I finally discovered the secret to motivation! I was home a few weeks ago researching and preparing for a lecture I was giving on NLP and Life Coaching. And it suddenly dawned on me… how to motivate yourself and others around you. And here it is…

It’s said that every NLP practitioner and every Life Coach has a favourite technique or principal. My favourite are values.
Values are simply anything that’s important to us. They are what keeps us up twisting and turning  lying in bed awake at night. They are what pushes us forward when we feel like giving up. And they are what fills us with joy and happiness when they are met. Values are different for each individual and they are different in each context. For example your relationship values could be different from your partner’s relationship values (that’s when trouble starts!). And your relationship values could be different from you work values.

Having said that, there are certain core values that are unique to each individual and that are found in almost every context. For example ‘trust’ is one of my core values that I look for in my life, work and relationships. If trust wasn’t found in any of these contexts it will severely damage the way I respond to or handle actions, reactions and interactions in these contexts. Similarly you have core values that you require be found in any context.

Core Values
I hope this clarifies how important core values are. Now the question is how do we discover the core values behind what we want to achieve? And what’s this got to do with motivating ourselves and others around us?

1- Set a clear goal. There are at least 6 conditions to effectively set a goal. You life coach should be able to coach you on how to do this.
2- Ask yourself: “When I have this goal, what will this get for me?” In other words, why do you want to do this?
3- The answer to question two is your value. Write it down.
4- Go back to question two
5- Keep repeating steps 2 and 3 until you get stuck. Then repeat them again, twice.

By the end of this you should have a list of your core values.

Satisfy Your Values
Understand that every goal we set for ourselves is generated by our values. It is crucial to respect these values and make sure we find the best ways to meet them. Because then and only then, we will be able to motivate ourselves and satisfy our deepest needs.

Until next time,


Copyright (c) 2009 www.TarekCoaching.com

Facebook comments:

  1. Live Life to the Fullest
    Live Life to the Fullest12-09-2009

    Comfortabl y, the post is actually the best on this valuable topic. I agree with your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your forthcoming updates. Just saying thanks will not just be enough, for the tremendous lucidity in your writing. I will immediately grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates. Good work and much success in your business efforts!

    • Tarek

      You’re most welcome Jay. I’m glad you found this valuable and I hope it helps keep you motivated!

  2. Aiping Wang
    Aiping Wang07-23-2010

    While there is an increase in demand for counselling, most people are also aware that they want positive inputs regarding what they want and what they can do to achieve it. This is where life coaches and business coaches come in and contribute a great deal.

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