In the last post I shared with you how it felt standing in front of around 50 industry experts giving a talk. It wasn’t easy! But I only shared with you half of it. You see, every time I put myself in a new, challenging situation I end up asking myself two questions. The first is “Why do I do this to myself?” The second is “Will this always feel the same?”
We talked about the first question here. The answer to the second question, in my personal humble experience is: Yes and No. Let me explain.
When I was a kid, I remember when at the start of every summer I went swimming for the first time. I’d never dive straight into the deep end even though I knew how to swim. First I’d get into the shallow end and carefully test myself to make sure I still remember how to swim! I was worried that because I haven’t swum for such a long time, I might have forgotten how to do so. Of course I haven’t. The skill was and is still there in my muscles’ memory. But my mind was playing tricks on me.
Swimming is a skill. So is public speaking, socializing, dating, mathematics and pretty much everything else we do. And it’s no secret that the more we do one thing, the better we get at it. Aristotle says “You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an event. It is a habit” Equally, the less we do something, the rustier we become at it. And that’s when our mind starts playing tricks on us.
Let me give you another example.
It’s very common to meet enthusiastic and aspiring future life coaches at life coaching and NLP training seminars. During the course they usually are so confident of their skills and can’t wait to get out there and start using what they learned to make a difference in the world. But a few weeks down the line, when they would have done nothing yet, their confidence slowly drops. Eventually they get to a point where their beliefs turn against them. By then their attitude of self assurance turns into an attitude of self doubt. They can’t life coach people anymore. They don’t have the skills. Or so they believe!
Have you ever thought you didn’t have the skills, only to later prove yourself wrong? Share your experience with us in the comment box below.
And so it doesn’t matter if you’re doing public speaking, swimming, knitting or whatever. If it’s something that causes you to feel anxious because you’ve never done it before, that’s normal. If you’re anxious because you haven’t done it for a long time and you’re wondering whether you’ll always feel this anxiousness and nervousness, the answer is: Yes. Unless…
If on the other hand you’ve been doing one or two public speaking events for the past few weeks, or if you’ve managed to knit a dozen scarves for your family in two days then you’ll notice how with every new scarf you become more and more comfortable and relaxed. Until it eventually becomes a habit and you’re so confident of your skills, your mind can’t play any tricks on you. If that point you ask yourself “will I always feel the same?” the answer will be most certainly be No! Unless…
Until next time,
Copyright (c) 2010 www.TarekCoaching.com – Life coach London, London life coach, RESULTS Coach, Performance Consultant, Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)